"Swamped?"

Recently I have been working on learning a new skill. It's a skill that I've known for a long time that I need to learn and that I have tried to learn but never really mastered. It should be simple but . . .

"No" That's the skill I need-to be able to say "no."

Like I said, it should be simple but I have such a hard time saying no when asked to do things that I know really are not the best for me or those that I have a responsibility too.

It usually goes like this-Someone asks me

"Are you swamped today?"

I already know what's coming and my mind starts racing. Am I swamped? What exactly is "swamped" anyway? I'm comfortable with what I have to do. I could do a little more if I had too. It would be possible.

"No" I say. "I'm not swamped."

Well than could you do. . . fill in the blank.

Last week someone walked in my house, looked around and said "You don't have as many kids as usual."

"No, a few kids are on vacation with their family this week, so I am getting a little bit of a break."

"Oh" she replied. "Well, since you're not swamped(I'm beginning to hate that word) could you watch my son (9 months old) so I can go clothes shopping and out to eat with my sister."

Inside I'm fuming. Outwardly I smile and I say "Sure."

Then I proceeded to stew the whole time she was gone.

This week it happened again. Same question-"Are you swamped?" "Can you keep my son?"

And I looked at her and said "No. I can't."

And guess what- we both survived. We're still friends. And my family and the kids I am truly responsible for were much happier because I was truly there for them instead of being "swamped."

And if it happens again . . .well, I'm working on it. . . I'm planning to say "no". . . we'll see.