What happens when one 11 year old boy, dealing with bipolar and ADHD and feeling very restless and hyperactive, teases (over and over) one 13 year old boy dealing with NLD/AS and unable to access an acceptable solution in that moment of stress?
Chairs begin to fly!
I looked out the window yesterday in time to see one of the chairs from our front porch sailing over the rail and out into the yard. Knowing what was probably happening I ran out to intervene. I had seen this coming earlier in the day, but had hoped going outside to play would use up some of the building energy in both boys. The boys were separated and after a few minutes to calm down I talked to 13. We had a discussion (again) about acceptable options for dealing with these types of instances, about realizing when he's getting upset and understanding what he's feeling. Then I had him find a quiet activity to do that would help him focus on something else and calm down. He chose searchword puzzles. This has been his activity of choice recently when he's feeling restless, bored or upset.
With 11, who was seeming very defensive and hostile at this point I simply had him find a quiet activity. He chose to watch TV. Later in the day, after he was a little calmer, we talked (again) about how other people feel when he says unkind and hurtful things, even though in his opinion he's only teasing.
Both boys were told they would need to stay inside until they showed me they were able to interact appropriately.
The rest of the day went smoothly and both boys were able to enjoy doing things together. They even combined their money later in the day to buy a treat to share.