Life is made up of many pieces, like a puzzle. Here I attempt to put them all together.

Monday, November 16, 2009


I am ambitious. Over ambitious. And hard on myself. Way to hard on myself. I'm also hard on others when they get in the way of my ambitions and I think they are causing me the frustration that I am causing myself. Did that make sense? Not only that, I am a slow learner. As in snail slow. Or slower.

It wouldn't be so bad if I was the only one who suffered because of all these "maladies" but I'm not. My family suffers with me as I go through the cycle of learning these lessons over and over, and over and over. And then once again.

This past weekend was hard. For all of us. Once again I had over planned and under planned. Over planned what all I could accomplish. Under planned the interruptions and delays and even other people's plans and how they might effect mine.

And when things unexpectedly did not go the way I had planned I was unhappy. Very unhappy. At first I was unhappy with everyone around me. Then I realized, again, like I have so many times before (I'm a slow learner remember) that I needed to change my expectations. Both of myself and everyone around me. It's okay if all of life does not stay on a schedule. Life happens. Especially life with kids. And pets. And a husband. And more kids. And when my main ambition is to provide a safe haven (that's just one of my ambitions, but it's the most important one) why I am I irritated with them for getting in the way of my plans for their wonderful life. That just doesn't make sense. At all.

So I regrouped. I rethought and replanned. A less ambitious plan this time. Or maybe not. I just changed my ambition. My current ambition is to be a little less ambitious. We'll see how long it is before I have to relearn this one.


  1. I am imagining that you cannot blog about all the specifics, but I also imagine that there is plenty of baggage and difficulty brought in each time you open your home or give time to be that safe haven through the local DSS.

    Hope this comment finds you and your family well.

  2. There is an awful lot of baggage that comes with each child, but often a wonderful wealth of love as well.

    I just have to learn to slow down and take each it minute as it comes.

  3. You really nailed it on the head as they say. I think so many of us Moms can relate to what you have shared here. This particular imperfection is part of how we get it all done too though, the balance is hard but it sounds like you are getting a handle on it. Great job!

  4. I can so relate to this post...its a hard lesson to learn!