Feeling Sad

I'm feeling a little sad today. Introspective. I find myself hurting for others. Asking the question why a lot. Hugging my own a little tighter.

Several things have happened this week to make me feel this way and as I try to process these things I find myself wanting to fix them and knowing that there's nothing I can do. Wondering who missed the signs while there was still a chance. Wondering if I'm missing any signs anywhere of someone who needs help while there's still a chance to help.

The first incident involves a man in his 50's who on the outside seemed to have it all. A loyal wife, grown children who were married and doing well, a business of his own. He held several positions in the community and was involved in helping others in very real and vital ways. Much of his life has been put into perfecting the skills needed to help others.

And yet, several days ago, he was arrested at around 2AM one morning this week as he attempted to meet a 13 year old girl in a deserted area. There was no 13 year old girl, it was an online police sting.

This has upset on me on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.

I am so thankful there was no 13 year old girl there for him to meet. I hope and pray there have been no others. It makes me sick to think of the harm that could have been done. And it reminds me to stay tuned those teenagers around me who may be vulnerable to this kind of threat.

And then there is this man and his family. I know them. While not close friends with them, I knew them. There has been an outpouring of community support for the family. And yet a part of me wants to ask where was the needed support of those who knew them well before things reached this point? Did no one see the warning signs? Were they so well hidden that no saw them? I know that's possible. I also know that it's possible there was not a willingness to be helped. But I hurt so deeply for all involved. And again it as a wake up call to be tuned to those around me.

Then today a friend texted me with the news that the charges against the accused murderer of the daughter of a friend were brought before a grand jury today. And that threw me back again to the day I found about this murder. I wrote about that here. And once again I find myself thinking of lost opportunities.

Too often I allow myself to get so caught up in the day to day minutia of life that I miss the really important moments.

I'm reminding myself to listen carefully with my heart as well as my ears. To stop and look into the eyes of those I care about, those whom come into my life and home each day. To take the time and ask the questions that need to be asked, offer the hug, the helping hand, the comforting word or just to lend an ear.

I need to go hug my family.