It Is Okay to Ask for Help

I am so grateful tonight to Doug for taking some responsibility from me and allowing me to have some breathing room to explore some of the things I love to do. He has taken over all the paperwork for the childcare business. And I feel like a mountain has been lifted from my shoulders.

I had gotten to the point where I felt like I was always behind, that I was cutting back on more and more things in my life just to take care of what was absolutely necessary and still was falling further and further behind. Because I was so run down physically and couldn't take the time I needed to rest and allow my body to heal, I was dealing with a very bad cold that would not leave. I had honestly reached a point where I would run into the bathroom, cry, pull myself together, run back out and take care of what needed to be done, run back in the bathroom, cry and then start the whole process over again.  I needed some help.

For some reason, though, asking for help has always been extremely hard for me. The thought of asking for help makes me feel shaky, afraid, less valuable, and like a failure. Intellectually I know that is not true. But emotionally it's a very real struggle. So instead of asking for the help I need when I know I need it I start a lengthy process of justifying why I need that help. But I don't stop there, I then begin analyzing what everyone else is doing and how they are being how they are being negligent in their duties (in my mind) and how they are making things hard for me, thereby causing me to need the help I don't want to ask for.

So now I have built myself up (once again, in my own mind) to be the poor mistreated hero and I'm getting angry at everyone around me for how insensitive and selfish they are. And from there it's a fast slide downhill into a massive sea of self-pity. Not pretty. Not pretty at all!

 Well, this whole process finally culminated last Saturday into a total messy breakdown. I tried to be careful what I said and how I said it, but when I looked back at the conversation, there was still a lot of room for improvement. But my husband was very gracious, heard me out, asked a few questions to clarify things, and then quietly went about giving me the help I needed. I love that man.

But as I've looked back over the whole situation this past week I realized that all I would have needed to do, six weeks ago when I realized I was in over my head, was simply admit I needed help. A simple "Honey, I'm feeling overwhelmed, could you help me out a little?" would have saved us all a rough ride on my sea of self  pity.

I really needed to write this post to help me remember a few things the next time I need help.

• There is nothing wrong with asking for help.
• Needing help does not make me a less valuable person.
• Asking for help when needed makes life smoother for everyone.
• I do not need to do it all. Other people are competent and willing.
• Asking for help allows me to spend more focused quality time with those who need it.
• Asking for help make other feel important, special and needed as well.

So next time, I'll simply ask. Right away. Hopefully.

Clothes Shopping

When Hubby says it's time to go clothes shopping, he means it. And we didn't argue the point.

Austin and Amanda needed clothes badly.

Austin

 

  

  

Amanda

  

Michael really didn't need much but he got a few things anything. The socks were much needed, the shirt was just for fun. 

Mommy - Yay!

And Daddy.

That was fun. Until we got to the cash register. But, like I said, it was badly needed.

Now I'm off to try on a new outfit.

Six In a Row

 

 

 

For about two hours yesterday all six one year olds that are enrolled in childcare here were present at the same time. So we lined them all up on the couch and took a few pictures.

Aren't they cute?!

Snuggles

Mascara Does Not Become You

On My Heart Tonight - 65 Red Roses

I cannot stop thinking about this post tonight. My prayers are with Eva and her family.

Time Management and Effective Living

Time management has always been a very interesting topic for me. I've read . . . read more

EEG and Pediatric Neurologist Referrals

Before Austin fell we had already scheduled an appointment with the Pediatrician for a physical. We had hoped to get a referral to a neurologist to check out some of our concerns. Yesterday we kept that appointment. . . .
Read more.

How DO You Eat Spaghetti, Anyway?

I know, I'm easily amused, but watching Michael try to eat his spaghetti yesterday just totally cracked me up. He had a plastic fork to use but seemed to be more interested in using his spoon. 

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

Here he started getting silly because I had the camera out.

  

 

Climbing Mt. Everest

 

Amanda took one look at this mountain of snow and said "Ooh! I'm going to climb Mt. Everest!"

Snow Pictures

 

  

  

  

  

  

 

Help! I Have a Three Year Old!

 

This little hellion angel boy has nearly driven me to distraction today. And just so everyone reading this can share the joy with me I'm giving you a peak into his day. 

 So far today he has - 

spilled his cereal in his lap, 

thrown his dry cereal on the floor,

spilled his juice, 

spilled my coffee, 

thanked me sweetly for giving him the paper towels to clean up said coffee,

deliberately dumped his juice in his lap,

had to go to his room for time out,

took down the baby gate in his doorway and walked out of his room,

thrown his fork on the floor three times,

thrown his spoon on the floor once (I guess I should be glad it wasn't three times)

spilled his food at lunch while trying to reach the computer cord that I had told him to leave alone,

taken my phone and hit redial and called someone back that I was trying to ignore, 

put on my lipstick, 

taken away another child's toys, 

gotten himself stuck between the back and the seat of a kitchen chair (don't ask),

dumped someone else's art project, 

and sneaked upstairs and was found playing in the water in the master bathroom.

I'm sure I've forgotten a few things but you get the idea. And it's only noon, still another hour until naptime. Unless I call an early naptime which at this point is very likely.

Catching Up

Austin has been doing well since we got home. He has had some head pain which is to be expected, some dizziness, sometimes says a he has a strange feeling in his head. But he's alert, smiling, talking, laughing, moving around. Yesterday he went with Doug to Wal-mart and that really wore him out. I'm wondering if I allowed that too soon but he was getting a little restless and I thought it might do him good to get out. He came home and went straight to bed (around 5:30) yesterday evening. He's still there. I woke him at 10:00 to give him his medicine, and he woke up just enough to swallow it and went right back to sleep. It's 7AM now and he's still asleep. He does have an appointment with his pediatrician on Tuesday.

Amanda said she thought maybe she should fall out of a tree so she could sleep in every morning like Austin. I think she changed he mind though after Austin gave her a description of all the needles and tests she would have to endure if she tried that. Actually she said "Well, maybe just a little tree."

In other news, it's snowing. It started around 5:30 this morning and we're supposed to get 24 -28 inches by the time it quits sometime tomorrow. But we have plenty of food, hot chocolate and coffee, good books and internet, so we're all set. Let it snow!