Life is made up of many pieces, like a puzzle. Here I attempt to put them all together.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Closed Doors and Hidden Rooms

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
                                                            - William Shakespeare

I've had some lofty goals recently and quite often failed fantastically. Actually, most of the time, I've failed fantastically.  I've truly considered giving up. I've had quite a few days when I thought maybe I'm just asking too much of myself.

Maybe these dreams of mine are just pipe dreams, mirages, castles in the air.

Maybe I don't have the backbone, the know-how, or the determination to make them happen.

And maybe it's just selfish of me to want anything other than what I have right now. I have a husband I love, wonderful children, and a thriving business. I have a roof over my head (admittedly it's a sometimes leaky roof, but it's a roof), plenty to eat, decent clothing, health. I have friends, and am blessed with a wonderful church family.

And I love all the people in my life and am very grateful for the blessings that I have. And yet I often feel that I am choosing to crawl at a time when I should be walking, running, maybe even flying. There are nights when I have dreams that I am literally soaring through a huge mansion that is beautiful, well appointed, with more mysterious rooms, nooks and recesses than I can find, filled with potential . . . and yet unused. Other nights I dream that I am living in a house and suddenly discover there are rooms in this house that I have never opened the doors to, filled  with potential and possibility for many uses and again . . . unused.

I've been thinking a lot about these dreams and, while I don't often feel the need to interpret dreams I am beginning to feel that there is something here I need to examine. My life is before me. My house, my mansion is here and ready to be used.  It is well furnished with family, friends, and so many opportunities. And yet I am not making full use of these blessings.

So I ask myself - What are some of the unused rooms in my life? Which rooms have I only peaked into, yet never made use of all they have to offer?

My own home is one. While it is livable and comfortable enough there is so much more potential for beauty, for providing an oasis of calm, of nurturing and caring, as well as of creativity, love and laughter.

My business in another. Business is good and growing and yet I am getting a sense within myself that I have been looking at it too narrowly and missing opportunities for growth, for greater outreach and positive connection to those served directly as well to the wider community.

Writing is yet another. Yes I've dabbled in it, played around with it, but it's time for me to get serious and do what I need to do to make the time to write. I have so many thoughts, ideas, questions and stories, words just welling up inside with no place to go. It's time to get them out and go where they lead me.

These are just a few of the rooms in my life that I need to make full use of.  I know there are more but these are where I need to start now.

What rooms in your life remain unused, gathering dust, and hidden behind closed doors, waiting to be opened and used as they are meant to be?

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